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EAYW47's Photo EAYW47 Posts: 13,927
10/24/19 6:58 A

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😂😂

HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
10/23/19 2:51 P

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emoticon Want to hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism.

emoticon A Roman walks into a bar with some friends, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please."

emoticon I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

emoticon I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

emoticon A man entered a pun contest. He submitted ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. But, no pun in ten did.


I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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AUNTIEANN7's Photo AUNTIEANN7 Posts: 7,586
6/21/19 1:04 P

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Why does a milking stool have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder one.

Ann


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/6/19 3:30 P

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Hehe.. thanks for chiming in, folks! A few more:

Why don't blind people skydive? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs. emoticon

I told my friend she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because they're already stuffed. emoticon





I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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1DAY-ATA-TIME's Photo 1DAY-ATA-TIME Posts: 35,193
2/6/19 9:02 A

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What time did the man go to the dentist?

Tooth hurt-y."

Ron G.

“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” Booker T. Washington
KATHRYNGC Posts: 8,257
2/5/19 11:34 P

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What sound does a sick dog make?

Barf....Barf

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1DAY-ATA-TIME's Photo 1DAY-ATA-TIME Posts: 35,193
2/5/19 8:23 A

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I finally got 8 hours or sleep. Took me 3 days to do it!

Ron G.

“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” Booker T. Washington
HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:54 P

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What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.

I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:50 P

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I haven't slept for 3 days, because that would be too long.

I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:48 P

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ALF: We only have ten major organs, eight of which are stomachs.
Willie: I would have guessed all ten.

I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:48 P

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My husband and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:45 P

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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.


I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:45 P

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If the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything:
Stamps = Lickie Stickie
Defibrillators = Hearty Starty
Bumble bees = Fuzzy Buzzy
Cats = Furry Purry
Dogs = Shaggy Waggy
Fork = Stabby Grabby
Socks = Feetie Heatie
Nightmare = Screamy Dreamy

Edited by: HODGEPODGEPANDA at: 2/10/2019 (16:45)
I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:45 P

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Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that.

I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:44 P

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I was going to tell a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it.

I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:44 P

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What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a big plus.

I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:44 P

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A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Magic beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? What’s so magical about it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Lemme try some of that!” The man grabs the beer. He downs it, leaps off the roof — and plummets 15 stories to the ground.
The bartender shakes his head. “You’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”

I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:44 P

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I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.

I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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HODGEPODGEPANDA's Photo HODGEPODGEPANDA Posts: 203
2/4/19 11:43 P

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Jump in with your best jokes & worst puns!

I'm writing a novel, on the backs of envelopes and discarded pieces of paper.
https://twitter.com/hodgepodgekitty


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