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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
10/24/20 12:25 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
10/18/20 11:49 A

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10/17/20 3:33 P

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
10/16/20 3:26 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
10/15/20 10:23 A

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
10/1/20 4:28 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
9/25/20 6:42 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
9/20/20 12:23 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
9/17/20 10:23 A

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
9/15/20 8:19 P

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
9/14/20 6:27 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
9/11/20 7:56 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
9/9/20 5:36 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
8/30/20 11:16 A

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
8/25/20 3:47 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
8/22/20 11:54 A

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
8/21/20 3:13 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
8/19/20 8:18 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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8/16/20 8:27 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
8/15/20 10:15 A

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Judy From NW Iowa

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8/9/20 1:57 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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8/7/20 3:43 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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8/6/20 12:50 P

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Val

Moving More! Eating Less!
Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going!

JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
7/26/20 10:53 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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7/23/20 9:58 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
7/20/20 3:11 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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Leader of:
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Creating A New YOU
Northwest Iowa
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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
7/19/20 7:38 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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Leader of:
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Creating A New YOU
Northwest Iowa
World's Best Grandmas And Grandpas
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Passing the Spark
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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
7/18/20 9:20 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
7/16/20 5:39 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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7/14/20 9:02 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
7/11/20 3:49 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

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NANASUEH's Photo NANASUEH Posts: 65,129
7/5/20 1:20 P

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Sue of Bellingham, WA
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7/5/20 1:20 P

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Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required
to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin
victim, Rescusi-Anne, to practice.

My group's model was legless to allow for storage in a carrying case.

The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of my
classmates gently shook the doll and asked "Are you all right?" He
then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing.

Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She said she
can't feel her legs!"

From Laugh & Lift


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7/3/20 3:07 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

* Live simply
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Leader of:
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World's Best Grandmas And Grandpas
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7/3/20 12:42 P

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Sue of Bellingham, WA
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7/3/20 12:42 P

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A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship, and ordered a Scotch, with two drops of water. The bartender gave her the drink, and she said, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday, and it’s today.”
The bartender said, “Well, since it’s your birthday, this one’s on me.”
As the lady finished her drink, a woman, to her right, said, “I’d like to buy you a drink, too.”
The lady said, “Thank you, how sweet of you. OK, then, Bartender, I want another Scotch, with two drops of water.”
“Coming up,” said the bartender.
As she finished that drink, a man, to her left, said, “I’d like to buy you a drink too.” The lady said, “Thank you very much, my dear. Bartender, I’ll have another Scotch, with two drops of water.”
“Coming right up,” the bartender said.
As he gave her the drink, this time, he said, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”
The old woman giggled, and replied, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue.”

dailyjokes.com


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A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus; she noticed the man opposite to her was smiling at her so she immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, “Well your Honor, it was like this:
When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition.
She sat under a sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are coming” and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Slogan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling” and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick” and I could hardly contain myself. …
BUT your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident… ” I just lost it.”

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It was a typical night of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire:
Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far – $500,000 and one lifeline left — phone a friend.”
“The next question will give you the top prize of $1 million dollars, if you get it right. But if you get it wrong, you will drop back to $32,000. Are you ready?”
Barbara: “Sure, I’ll have a go!”
Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build its own nest?
Is it:
A – Robin
B – Sparrow
C – Cuckoo
D – Thrush
Remember Barbara – its worth $1 million dollars.”

“I think I know who it… I’m not 100%… no, I haven’t got a clue. I’d like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.”
Regis: “Yes. Who, Barbara, do you want to phone?”
Barbara: “I’ll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham.”
(ringing)
Maggie: “Hello…”
Regis: “Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to get to a Million. The next voice you hear will be Barbara’s and she’ll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and only 1 correct answer. You have 30 seconds to reply — fire away Barbara.”

Barbara: “Maggie, which of the following birds does not build its own nest?
Is it:
A- Robin
B- Sparrow
C- Cuckoo
D- Thrush

Maggie: “Oh gees, Barbara that’s simple…It’s a cuckoo.”
Barbara: “You think?”
Maggie: “I’m sure.”
Barbara: “Thanks Maggie.” (hangs up)
Regis: “Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?”
Barbara: “I want to play, I’ll go with c-cuckoo”
Regis: “Is that your final answer?”
Barbara: “It is.”
Regis: “Are you confident?”
Barbara: “Yes fairly, Maggie’s a sound bet.”
Regis: “Barbara…..you had $500,000 and you said c-cuckoo…you’re right! – You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!! Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara!”

That night Barbara called round to Maggie and brought her down to a local bar for a celebratory drink and, as they were sipping their champagne, Barbara turned to Maggie and asked: “Tell me Maggie, How in God’s name did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?”
Maggie: “Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a cuckoo lives in a clock!”


dailyjokes.com


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Judy From NW Iowa

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Sue of Bellingham, WA
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Sue of Bellingham, WA
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6/28/20 1:39 P

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6/27/20 7:59 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

* Live simply
* Love generously
* Care deeply
* Speak kindly
* Leave the rest to God!

Leader of:
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Grandpas and Grandmas Are Special
Sensational 60's and Beyond
Creating A New YOU
Northwest Iowa
World's Best Grandmas And Grandpas
New Beginnings
Passing the Spark
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6/27/20 1:16 P

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Sue of Bellingham, WA
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6/27/20 1:15 P

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Grandpa and his 7 year old grandson are gardening when the boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.”
“I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t,” says Gramps, “It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.”
The kid runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray.
He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board, and proceeds to put it right back into the hole.
Grandpa hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray, and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later, Grandpa comes out and hands the boy another five dollars.
“Grandpa, you already paid me,” says the kid.
“I know. This is from your Grandma.”

dailyjokes.com


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6/26/20 8:39 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

* Live simply
* Love generously
* Care deeply
* Speak kindly
* Leave the rest to God!

Leader of:
Sparkle N Shine
Grandpas and Grandmas Are Special
Sensational 60's and Beyond
Creating A New YOU
Northwest Iowa
World's Best Grandmas And Grandpas
New Beginnings
Passing the Spark
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6/24/20 3:51 P

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6/22/20 11:43 A

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Val

Moving More! Eating Less!
Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going!

JUDY1676's Photo JUDY1676 Posts: 842,840
6/21/20 7:43 P

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Judy From NW Iowa

* Live simply
* Love generously
* Care deeply
* Speak kindly
* Leave the rest to God!

Leader of:
Sparkle N Shine
Grandpas and Grandmas Are Special
Sensational 60's and Beyond
Creating A New YOU
Northwest Iowa
World's Best Grandmas And Grandpas
New Beginnings
Passing the Spark
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6/18/20 4:38 P

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Sue of Bellingham, WA
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6/18/20 4:37 P

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A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo.

The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming around the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty feet high.

Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”

The kangaroo replied, “Probably a hundred feet, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night.”

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6/17/20 2:02 P

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A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?”

The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.”

Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.

Saint Peter said, “Well , that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven.”

The Lawyer said, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter.”

Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.

Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?”

Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter,

“Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”

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6/16/20 3:03 P

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A young lady made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a waitress that she worked with at a bar.

The waitress suggested, “There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it’s not going to be legal.”

“That doesn’t matter at all,” replied the young lady. “All that matters it that I am able to sell this car.”

“Alright,” replied the waitress. In a quiet voice, she said:

“Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn’t be a problem to sell your car.”

The following weekend, the young lady took a trip to the mechanic on the coworker's advice.

About one month after that, the coworker asked, “Did you sell your car?”

“No!” replied the young lady. “Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it.”

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6/15/20 2:47 P

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When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
.. The batteries were given out free of charge.
.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
.. A will is a dead giveaway.
.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
.. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
.. Police were called to a day care center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
.. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
.. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
.. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
.. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And the cream of the wretched crop: .. Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.


Sue of Bellingham, WA
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"Remember what I said about being on Facebook while laying bricks?"


Sue of Bellingham, WA
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