Life on Life's Terms...
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
...isn't always easy. Have had a couple of freak-out moments since last night. And had to spend lunch today on a chat with my sponsor.
Life overall is good. My kid is amazing, healthy and happy. I'm doing well in the healthy lifestyle changes, losing weight, improving my fitness. My recovery is good, still involved and happy to be.
And then life throws ya these BIG curveballs. The electricity in my house is unsafe. It needs to be completely rewired. It's been becoming more apparent over the last couple months that something bad is going on -- lights flicker in the house or won't turn on, I can't run the electric heater in the living room, since it appears to drain too much electricity (and it's new), I smelled burning plastic in one evening when we had a strange power surge through the lights... And finally got an electrician who could be honest with us last night have a look-see. Yes, my house is unsafe to live in. My landlord is looking into an equity loan to get it repaired, but that won't begin to be addressed until January.
In the meantime, I have a holiday break from work coming up and I feel unsafe in the house I've lived in for ten years. I have NO idea what the eventual outcome is going to be. It may be that I have to move. I honestly don't know.
And let's be real honest here, my relationship with my Higher Power has not truly recovered from the loss of my daughter, so I am not really trusting of it/him/dude/what the heck ever. What I do trust is there is a HP, that my sponsor believes in it, so I will choose to have faith in that.
For me that means that I keep acting as-if... as if everything is going to be worked out and ok. That we will find the right solution, whatever that is, and my youngest daughter will be safe wherever we live. However that happens.
Freak-out averted for the time being. I just needed to write all that down.
Have a Happy Christmas, y'all. thanks to all who actually still listen.