Broken bones and pain meds
Thursday, September 29, 2016
If you have read any of my previous ramblings you know that I am in recovery. My last relapse was on pain medication that progressively got deeper. That being said one of my big kids broke his ankle yesterday. The dr prescribed him a very mild pain medication.
I'm working a program I am active and sober. I have no desire for mind altering substances ....... Today. That doesn't mean that tomorrow might not be a whole different story. It doesn't mean that the monster won't raise his head and say that's a good idea take just one your son is fine with ibuprofen. It doesn't mean that I'm safe from the lies that my brain will try to tell me to justify My actions.
I am so aware of my weaknesses and shortcomings .
Not everyone around me can understand when I gave voice to it yesterday. " but it's your son you won't do that you're a good mom " "you've come so far you wouldn't wreck all your hard work" being an addict doesn't make me a bad mom and all my hard work is nothing compared to the addict part of my brain that is at times consuming and all powerful.
I am in a beautiful place in my life and I have No intention of destroying this place of beauty. So for today I will
Cont to be honest with those around me even if they don't understand
I will give any pain meds to a trusted neighbor who Can administer them to my son without feeling like taking the whole bottle
I will be proud of who I am ....the good the bad and the ugly.
I will grow from this situation I will be stronger because I can acknowledge my weakness and adjust my course .
I am an addict. I am a mother who loves her children enough to know there are somethings I cannot do for them and dealing with pain meds is one of them. And that's ok