It always happens suddenly
Sunday, August 28, 2016
It amazing how suddenly things happen. You are living life maybe happy maybe miserable maybe complacent or apathetic and bam suddenly everything is different. It felt somewhat gradual my slide in to the hell of addiction but it wasent ...one day I was a sober person then suddenly I wasent. Same with each time I relapsed. I'm sober for over a year and a half I work a program I am aware that suddenly I could be right back in the depths of hell all over again.
Another suddenly happened today ...suddenly I like the person I have become i. I like myself. I have put on a happy front for the majority of the last year and a half the old fake it till you make it deal. I wrestled with my past my present who I " really" was the pain and chaos and destruction I had caused all around me the learning to live through the hard moments without numbing my mind and turning myself off to everyone. I didn't have to fake it today. Suddenly I like the woman I saw in the mirror I like her choices I like her body( well Ya know mostly) I like her goals and her drive and her love of those around her. I like the person that has come from such a dark disgusting place and has managed to shine and bloom . suddenly I am more at ease in my skin than I have ever been.
So if you are struggling to like that person staring back at you in the mirror wait awhile, take some action , fake it if you have to but you'll have your suddenly too.