Happy new year! 25 days late. So here I am I am going to make a confession. Most of the time I am an upbeat positive person. I have to admit I would post positive things all the time although I was crying all the while I was doing so. Truth is the last couple of years I have been a basket case.
You could not look at me without me crying.. I thought making positive post would make me feel better. and it did not. I just felt like a fake, not who I normally was. So I stopped posting and dropping by Spark People who has been my constant for almost 6 years.
After all, I wrecked my knee. had shingles in my eyes, lost my mother, my house, my day care, husband lost his job, my daughter broke up with her boyfriend of 7 years and was depressed for more then a year, lost my dad, got custody of my Uncle Bill and his cat. It has been a rough few years.
So for some time I lived in my woe as me stage. Started to come snap out of it then I would fall deeper into a depression again. Gosh this is a negative posting. You see awhile back I swore to myself I would never write a negative posting again. So true to my word I am honestly going to turn this post around.
Here is the good part. I am starting to feel good about me. I have a pep in my step. ( I am not just talking about my limp from my knee
,) I am enjoying my life.
I am still not a goal weight, ( I started at size 30 and now wearing a 14) so I am in the right direction. I do not have a job but am in the process of getting a child care licence here in Niagara Falls Ca., My husband works out of town, for half the pay he was getting, My daughter is dating again and is happy. She finished 5 years of University and landed a good job in her field. Uncle Bill is happy. He is in home palliative care. When he no longer can walk the stairs he has agreed to go to a hospice. Right now he can walk, talk and joke.
So over all life is looking up. I have decided to look after me first. I have always told people to do just that but always felt guilty for taking time to look after me. When I was so depressed and would not get out of bed, my family survived with out me. Who knew. I think my family actually like doing the stuff I used to do. Well not the dishes. who likes doing dishes?
So all this typing is to say, I am not cured. I can smile, get out of bed and take walks around the block.
Happy New Year to me!